I need to vent.
I love my parents a lot. I think they are excellent human beings and I adore them. Not to mention they have supported me for all my education and everything up to I was 22 years old. The only thing I have problems with my parents usually come from my mom and the way she treats me sometimes.
My mom is a very typical Chinese mom; I always find that interesting because a most of her values are Westernized. If you don’t know what a Chinese mom is like, just think of a stereotyped Jewish mom; they are opinionated especially about their children, they never praise you but when you do something wrong you will for sure hear from them, and they will not hesitate to use the guilt to make their children feel bad about not obeying them. Over the years, I’ve learned to deal with these traits of mom and don’t let these little things affect my relationship with her.
This morning though, I got pretty upset with her after a call (which is hardly the first time.)
My parents are completely computer illiterate. They don’t know anything about computers; however they want to use it. I had spent a lot of time teaching them the necessaries even though they never take proper notes and I often have to go over things with them on the phone again. I tried to be as patient with them as possible as I am sure they were so patient with me when I was a kid. Their computer got a virus about two months ago, and I ended up spending about 4 hours on the phone over a week of time prompted them step my step how to reinstall their computer, setting up the wireless (2 of those hours was figuring out how to get their password back for the wireless because they’ve lost it.) However, my dad’s software will not showup properly on an English Windows, so we have to install a Chinese Windows for him but since then their wireless doesn’t work. I told mom I will try to find a solution and call her back when I do.
She gave me a call this morning during work hours. I was working on something at the moment so I didn’t pickup. She called again, I picked up and the first thing she said was “why didn’t you answer when I call earlier?” No “hello, how are you?” no “I know I’m catching you at a bad time.” I answered “Because I am at work, mom.” She then said with her usual lets-make-my-son-feel-guilty tone “Oh, you are at work, then I guess it’s nothing.” I said “what’s wrong, mom.” She changed her tone to lets-sound-a-little-piss-off-and-make-him-more-guilty tone “well, I just thought to get this computer thing solved.” I replied “mom, I am trying my best to find a solution for you, but I have been quite busy, I’ll figure something out today and give you a call back tomorrow.” She then reply “don’t call back, just do it when you are free”. Then she quickly says goodbye and hang-up.
I don’t know why I’m getting upset over this, as similar situations had happened to me hundreds of times. It’s not even that I don’t help her, I do and often a very frustrating process, and I don’t think I deserve to be treated like that. I don’t expect my parents to act like my friend, nor I like want them to because I think their should be a fine line between friends and parents. However, I do want them to treat me like an adult as I am one now.
Furthermore, I guess I worried that I have some of her traits in me and I would never want to treat my love ones with that type of attitude. I don’t want to turn into an annoying Chinese mom.
