A friend of mine asked me to be the emcee for his wedding. This is actually the third time someone has asked me to be the Master of Ceremony for his/her wedding. I guess part of the reason why I get invited as being an emcee often is that I have a bunch of Chinese Canadian friends, me being able to speak Cantonese and English fluently really help as the wedding has to be hosted in those two languages. On top of that, I guess I am some-what a clown so in case my speeches sucks, I wouldn't mind just dropping my pants down and start making a scene. What I am trying to say is, my friend really made a huge mistake but I happily took the job.
This got me thinking though, this might be the only "job" I will ever get in a wedding. See, I have a rather interesting network of friends. I am going to pull a Dave (Blogography) here and use a piechart to illustrate that:
The above chart shows the ratio of my close friends (as in people who I hang out on a regular basis). The smaller cut-out section represents the people who I consider best friends. As you can see, the majority of my closer friends are female, roughly 40%, the next are straight males 30%. The interesting part lies within the gays. I would say about 25% of my closer friends are gay, and we are pretty close; however, a majority of them are Scott's friend to begin with (hence, the in-laws). I actually have very few gay friends who I met on my own, if you minus the ex's, I think I have like three.
So, what's the point of this excercise, you may ask. Well, see, there are only a few available "jobs" in a wedding. You have the bridesmaid, bestman, groomsman, maid of honour, etc, and people select these jobs base on whether how well you know them, how long you know them, and whether you fit the role. As much I have close relationship with most of my friends, I don't generally fit in a role of a wedding. Let's analysis this.
I can never be a bridesmaid or maid of honour, because I prefer leather over lace and unless I'm attending a wedding for a pair of power lesbiens, which I don't know one, that's out of the question. I will never be a bestman nor groomsmen because my in-laws will obviously choose Scott over me, and non of my other gay friends are planning to get married; some of them just enjoy the free sex and some of them live in the side of the world where gay marriage means their mother will be shamed for the rest of her life.
See, I am screwed! I will never be in a wedding other than being an emcee or a minister! Minister actually sound fun, however, I'm not sure whether I can contain myself for not saying something inappropriate... I can come up with many intersting things that I can say after "by the power invested in me..."
What I really wanted to do, however, is the Ringbearer. You know, the person who carries the wedding rings. I always thought I could be that and I can be called the "Lord of the Ring", or even better, "The one who rules them all". However, traditionally, that job is usally taken by little child whom dressed up like a chucky doll. Little kids... always steal my thunder...
