Connection

Wits' End had a very interesting post last week regarding on the right to die. As a Buddhist (yes I know, I haven't been acting like one lately, but I am a priest afterall, whether I want to show that on a daily basis is a seperate topic) I guess I am somewhat used to the concept of "death". Afterall, understanding the meaning of life and death is the core foundation of any religion. Yet, I don't think anyone can ever get used to the idea, it's always going to be a touchy topic. That being said, I did take the chance to talk with my Mom about that during her trip this year.

Since my parents live half way across the globe from me, if something happens, it will take at least 14 hours for me to get to where they are: anything could happen with that much time. I rather know about their plan now than talk about that in a hospital or, even worse, in a funeral. Anyhow, my major concerns were about their retirement plan as well as what are they thinking if/when one of them pass away before the other. I am happy to know that they are considering coming back to Vancouver within the next 10 years, and that they will let me have inputs in regards their retirement years. That's all I really need to know at this point anyway.

Thinking about this issue reminded me about something I haven't share with many people before. It's probably one of the closest supernatural experience that involved me (I have seen many un-explainable things through my Buddhist pilgrimages, but they were mostly 3rd person experiences.)

My grandfather was an extremely healthy man throughout his entire life. He was one of those people who refused to retire. Being a butler/gardener, he enjoyed his daily routine taking care of a vacation home, which is vacant most time of the year. He lived by himself in the house with the house-owner's dog. My grandmother travelled between her place and his place on a regular basis, mostly staying at each place a few days here and there. In early 2004, my grandfather was dianosised with colin cancer.

In much of a surprise, he deteriorated rapidly, and on a Sunday morning on October, 2004, I got a phone call from my Mom that my grandfather might not be able to make it through the night in Hong Kong. Back then, I haven't learned much in Buddhism that I could "help", nevertheless, I tried to meditate. I wasn't hoping for any reverse in situation, I really just wanted my grandfather to pass in peace.

I was disturbed by two phone calls during my meditation, and when I finally sat down for the third time, I couldn't concentrate anymore. Being desperately trying to find a "connection", I decided to take a shortcut.

I am a strong believer that we can "time/space travel", not in the sense that one can physically go back and forth in time, but I believe at any given time in your life, as long as you have an "interaction" with someone, you can actually use the interaction to recall that connection and "be with" that person again. It sounds complicated, but all it is about is that our mind is not restricted by time, therefore, if my timeline has crossed your timeline before, we are connected, it's a matter of thinking back to that specific point in your life to recall the connection.

As I was trying to pinpoint a specific moment in life where I have the strongest connection with my grandfather, something strucked me: at one point in life, I was actually a cell of him. With that thought, within tenth of a second, I was brought to a very mystical place. It was like I was in a dream, yet I clearly know where and what I am. It's a feeling that is very difficult to explain. It won't be for another few years when I experience the same type of feeling during my pilgrimage. At this point, I told myself I have two missions: to let my grandfather knows if it's time for him to leave, he should leave without having to worry about the rest of us; and to let him know I am there with him the entire way.

Slowly, I started to "see" something. It was at an interesting angle, but I could feel there are people around me, I can vaguely felt that my grandmother and my parents are on my left side, and uncle and aunt on the right side. I know specifically that one of my aunt wasn't there. It was a scene at a death bed.

I was still in my dreamy stage, yet I was forcing myself to act on it. I visualize holding my grandfather's hand and run through a long corridor. I told him everything is going to be okay but he mustn't miss his time. I told him I love him and he should follow the light that I created and do not look back.

I don't know how long it lasted, but it was a mixture of the long corridor and the bed scene. Suddenly, I felt that I'm slowly floating up, it was as if I'm becoming weightless. I moved higher and higher up, and with a snap the connection was gone. It was like waking up from a dream. I looked up and check the time, then not knowing what to do or think, I went to bed.

Eight hours later, I got a phone call from my dad. He told me my grandfather passed away during the night. I asked him around what time he died? And he confirmed with what I suspected it was. After that, it was a long 14 hours trip back to Hong Kong and attend the funeral. When everything was settled, I had a chance to sit down with mom and asked her a few questions about the night when grandfather died. She told me a few things that I already knew, and then I asked her "why weren't Aunt C there?" A little shocked, she told me that she was there, just that where she was standing at the night was not visible from my grandfather's angle.

I don't know why all of a sudden I wanted to type this down. I still don't want to think that was exactly what happened. I just like to think that I had a weird dream and that some of the components of the dream matched the actual event. But whatever it really happened, at least I felt that I have contributed something that day. That itself, was enough for me to draw a closure.

On a sidenote, the dog that my grandfather was taken care of at his job went missing after my grandfather had to quit due to his health. Two months later, they've found the dog in a park that is three towns away from where he lived, at the direction of my grandfather's hospital. The dog died a day before my grandfather.

Comments

[Greg]

Okay, now I'm not going to be able to sleep...

[Justin]

This is a very interesting experience. I had something similar once that has always made me wonder... I had been away on business for a long time, and one night in the hotel I had a very emotional, vivid dream. I used to be friends with a guy who I had a severe crush on for a long time. He was gay too, but I could tell that he was not interested in me. Anyway, I think I may have been in love with him, because it just completely tore me up inside being friends with him and also having the feelings I had for him, knowing that it would never be. We eventually drifted apart as friends and hadn't seen each other for about 2 years when I had the dream. I still hadn't really gotten over my feelings for him by this time though.

Anyway, this night, just a random night, I had this strange dream. In the dream, this guy (call him Ben) learned he was going to die -- somehow he knew he had exactly 3 days left to live (again, this is the dream). And he wanted to spend the rest of his time with me. There were hundreds of things he could have done or people to see, but instead he just wanted to be with me. I was puzzled by this sudden sense of requiting even in the dream. It was such an emotional, powerful dream -- beyond any that I'd ever had. When I awoke, I was shaken up by it a bit. I couldn't get it out of my mind. When you have such a strange and powerful dream, it stays with you. You think about it, analyze it, reconnect with the emotions, try to understand it, everything. And just the dream itself gave this strange sense of connection to something -- I really couldn't explain it.

Fast forward about 2 months. Ben had contacted me out of the blue by email and asked if I could help him with something. We corresponded some more and I had asked him how things were going with him. That's when he told me. About 2 months prior, he said, he had attempted suicide and had spent a week in the hospital recovering. And then I remembered the dream. I never got exact dates for anything -- and to be honest by that time I couldn't even pinpoint the exact date that I had the dream -- but the timing of him trying to kill himself, and my dream, were so eerily close that I've often wondered if there was some sort of supernatural connection (and I wouldn't say I am one to believe in the supernatural). I mean, after not having heard from him or even really thought about him for such a long time, and then I all of a sudden have this bizarre, out-of-nowhere, very very specific dream? And then for him to tell me what he did? I was dumbfounded. Of course I have never mentioned this before. But your story of your experience reminded me. I wish I could explain it.