Buddhafied

Suffering

One thing I find myself doing more and more often lately is to re-examine a lot of the Buddhist concepts in my head, finding out whether they are really valid and most of all, whether the are logical.

The past few days, I've been thinking about the concept of reincarnation.

The basic concept of reincarnation is simple, there are six paths (or six realms) that made the wheel of life: hell realm (torture and aggression), hungry ghost realm (eternal starvation, unsatisfaction), animal realm (lack of wisdom or foolish), Asura realm (jealousy and wrath), human realm (desires) and deva (heaven-like but pride). After death, you will reincarnate according to how you live your life (karma) and might go into a different realm. The only way to end this cycle of suffering (samsara) is to break away through enlightenment.

The problem I have right now is the word "suffering".

Since I was very little, I have always been told that coming back as an animal is suffering because animals are lack of wisdom and are a lower form. However, if animals don't have wisdom, who is to judge whether they are suffering or not? Some might suggest that their suffering is having to go through the cycle of life and death (along with the pain we deal with in between); however, the universe is full of (if not just about) birth, death and reborn - That is the true cycle of life. In this case, why is this cycle such a bad thing? Whose perspective is that life and death is suffering when it is part of nature? I find this contradicting to Buddhist concept of the universe, especially when we are talking about a religion which promotes reuniting with the universe itself.

As Buddhism is full of symbolic metaphor, I start to doubt that the six realms listed above are actual "destinations" of reincarnation.

Could it be that the six realms of suffering is really referring to the six types of emotions that we all have? Then reincarnation itself will simply be the cycle of unsettling feelings in us that we never seem to be able to get away from: one day we are angry about one thing, then the next day it manifest into jealousy. According to Buddha, the only way to break through the reincarnation cycle is through enlightenment and understand the true meaning of life; isn't it also true that the only way to stop internal "suffering" is through acceptance of who we are and appreciating life?

Am I trying too hard to find an answer that I lost my focus on the importance, or this is already the answer?

Note: I always find that the six realm is very close to the seven deadly sins in Christianity. As a matter of fact, I found many concepts between the two religions are the same... which is why I never have a strong feeling against the core teachings of Christianity.

The present

My friend Todd got me a little gift for Christmas called the Buddha Board. It's a neat little pad where you use water, instead of ink, to write or draw whatever you want. After a few minutes, the water with vaporized and it will become an empty pad again. I have been doing my Mantra character practice on it lately and it works perfectly. I find myself spending a lot of time walking back and forth in the apartment to write the best looking Mantra. Sometimes it doesn't look anything I want it to be and I wish I could wipe it off instantly so I can restart, there are other times where I write the perfect looking Mantra and I wish it will stay there for longer. The Buddha Board reminded me of some fundamental philosophies of Buddhism.

No matter how much you like or or dislike something, at some point in time, the phyiscal or the mental element will run to the end of its course, as everything that has a beginning also has an end. Whether it is the sterdiest architecture or the most basic form of microrganism, whether it is a relationship or just an acquaintance, nothing in the universe can escape from the cycle of birth (begin), aging (blossom), sickness (perish) and death (end). Nothing will last forever.

Again, just like many other concepts of Buddhism, this is such a pessimistic thought. Instead of telling you that your love ones will go to heaven, Buddhism suggested that everything just end (actually, more like going into a eternal cycle of birth and death, which is even more depressing, but I will leave that topic for another rainny day), instead of telling you that there will be some form of judgement to your bully, Buddhism suggested the pain will end, eventually. Buddhsim never fail to provide you with more reasons of "why bother to live?" From the surface, this is such a passive and gloomy way of treating life, but the core concept behind all these can be summarized in one word: present.

Since everything will come to an end and everything is ever-changing, the only thing we can be certain is the present. "Now" is the only moment you have in your life that you have control of, not a second ago, not a second later. Instead of cherishing the physical or even mental aspect of something which will not last, let's enjoy what you have at this moment. Don't be caught up with the mistakes you did yesterday (my ugly Mantra characters); don't wish for anything to be there forever (my beautiful Mantra characters); enjoy the moment (the personal time I get to have).

Of course, when things eventually come to an end, it will never be easy. The feeling will still be hurt, the heart will still be broken, but at least there will be no regret, because you have lived the present.

The universe

After typing so much about my own life and about silly little things, I thought it will be a nice that once in a while I'll type a little bit about Buddhism (well, also... it's kind of difficult to justify having a blog named Buddhafied when all I type is about my dog and men with beard). So from here on, to keep the integrity of this blog, I'm dedicating each Tuesday to my Buddhist study and I'm starting a series regarding on my interpretation to the philosophy behind Buddhism. I have to warn all my readers, as everything is open to different point of view and perception, please don't take my concept or theory as the sole meaning of Buddhism. By all means it could be completely different than another Buddhist will tell you and I am not here to suggest my way is right or to defend myself. I am merely sharing my thoughts and the little piece of wisdom that I am lucky to endorse. That being said, please feel free to leave comments, as it is really what this section (and blogging as a matter of fact) is all about.

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Once in a while I hear someone say the phrase "the universe is against me today". I am sure I've said similar phrases lots of times before, probably the most often one is "the world hates me today". Of course, most of the time when we say stuff like that, it was merely a vent or a gesture to "I am having a bad day", but the sentence itself opened up a very interesting and unique views about Buddhism or other religions: what is the universe?

Opposing to many mainstream religions, Buddhism do not mention about God. For the purpose of this blog, I will refer God using the definition in Merriam-Webster dictionary as "the being perfect in power, wisdom, and goodness who is worshiped as creator and ruler of the universe."  This is not to confused with all the figures in stories of Buddhism. Buddha and many other spiritual forms described by Buddhist is really just an enlightened individual who understands the true meaning of the universe/life. He/she is not the creator nor the ruler of the human kind. This doesn't mean Buddhism resist the theory of God, it just doesn't acknowledge or deny it. Hence, this lead many, including myself, to believe that Buddhism is more like a philosophy than a religion. With no creator mentioned, who are we looking for guidance then? The answer is, the universe itself.

So, what is the universe according to Buddhism then? Interesting enough, there is no direct answer provided. Buddhism suggested a rather scientific way to explain the universe. It is like a logic, a law or a cycle, a way of how things form and how thing end. It's like math, where one plus one is equal to two, it's a logic, a concept and it applies to everything. It's like the Newton's Third Law of Motion, which for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, it's karma, a cause and effect. If you buy into this concept, you should also believe that this "logic" or universe is indifferent, as it's simply an algorithm, a law of how things work. This explain that many people interpretation of the word "karma" is wrong, because karma itself is simply a concept explaining the cause and effect, it doesn't explain the meaning of "good" and "bad".

Using this theory, it is raining today because it does, the earth (universe) has no concept of preference: things happen because it happens. This is not to confuse with the concept that everything is pre-determined, because having a logic does not mean the components can not be changed (ie: one apple plus one apple always equals to two apples, but there is no logic implying that you begin with just one apple). When we get upset the fact that it rains, it is really us that is resisting the natural path of the world (universe).

This might sound very pessimistic at times, as it suggested us to "take it as it is" and not let our feelings be bothered by any unfortunates. However, there is one important factor about this: our heart. If all along it has been ourselves who choose to believe that a rainy day is a bad one, it means that we also hold the true power of changing that believe. It is our freewill that allow us to choose how we interpret the rain when the rainy day comes, whether it's going to just be a day or it's going to be a bad day, a switch of the heart can make all of a different.

Because all along, it wasn't the rain that caused the emotion, it was the heart.

The meaning of hair

My hair is slowly growing back. I got mix reviews about it, but I don't mind the length at all. There were people who even said it looks chic, which I never know that term is allow to be used on a man. However, according to the expert of baldness, my wonderful boyfriend Scott, I've just entered this stage called the "Chia Pets" stage, where no hairproducts will be able to control my hair, and it just look plain ugly. I was almost relief when he said that, because, you know, ever since I was little I always dreamed to have ugly hair.

Now, amongst all things inconvenient, like it's generally colder without hair and that it was like velcro when you try to put a hoodie on, I wouldn't expect wearing glasses be a concern. But appearently, glasses do not stay on your head easily without hair! I notice this because my glasses kept on slidding down every few minutes. Now, if you're like me and you bounce instead of walk, that's a huge problem! A few weeks ago when we made spagetti at home, Scott and I were goofing around and he nudged me just slightly (I learn that word from MSN), my glasses instantly went flying into my food. Of course he didn't even offer to trade his bowl with me: not a pleasant scene.

Lesson learned here: always wear contact lenses if you're bald, and never allow your boyfriend nudge you in the kitchen.

Adaptation

I can't believe my last post was a week ago already... seemed like it was just a few days ago since I typed the Star Trek entry (well, at least I've only watched two more episodes of Star Trek after that)... I thought time flies only when you're having fun, but I guess it does also when you're crazily busy at work.

I'm facing a little problem right now.

I find it difficult to adapt what I've learned during the trip with my daily life in Canada. I guess I was expecting this problem to happen, but I didn't expect it to be happening so quick. I think the main problem of mine is that I have (or at least I believe I have) a very playful personality: I joke, I goof around, I can be loud and I can be very opinionated. These traits of mine didn't change during the process, but the way I think has changed dramatically. I like to think that others can view me as a different person and stop assuming I will react to issues like I did before the journey, but the reality is not the case.

Furthormore, it has been very frustrating for me to translate what I have learned to let others understand why I'm going through this struggle. First of all, the language I used to learn everything was not English, hence I can't quote any scripture or idioms. But more importantly, it takes more than words to describe an internal enlightment.

I guess that's just a false expectation from my end, consider it's diffuclt for others to imagine I have changed based on my still-the-same-hyper-behavior. I really want to express myself in different ways and come across as a better person than I was before. But now I feel a bit out of place.

Back in "reality"

I'm here in front of my computer, in my cubicle at work now. It's hard to believe I'm actually back.

The moment that I am on Vancouver's ground, it's almost as if I've never left the place. Like everything that happened over the past 10 months was just a dream.

Everything seems to remain the same in Vancouver, though. I guess when you were gone for a long period of time, you have that strange assumption in your head that everything has changed. But in reality, the same people are still living in the apartment complex; the dog still takes up all the room in bed when you're; the photocopier at work still has paper jam when you're in a hurry to print a document.

The past two weeks has been a blur to me up to this point. Saying goodbye to all my classmates at the airport coming back from Japan; going out and had lunch and dinner with family and friends; last minute shopping and packing; then catching the plane and fly home. Everything happened so fast. Seeing the dog the first time in 10 months was a weird moment, too. I've looked at her photo so many times when I was gone that when I finally see a moving and fluffy Cleo, it was like she walked out from a book.

This is really surreal to me. Am I really back?

I'm bald

The trip to Japan was an amazing trip.

The 37 of us left on the Saturday flying directly to Osaka, then catching a bus going up to the holy mountain of Japan, Koyasan. The weather was Vancouver winter-like, which is dry but not too chilly. It was snowing the entire two and a half hour going up. We found out it was the one of the biggest snowstorm up there this year. Apparently, that's a very rare scene to be seen on February.

Staying at the temple was a very interesting experience. First, the beds are all traditional Japanese style, meaning it's just a futon laid on the floor. It was surprisingly comfortable! I would really consider getting those if the floor of my apartment is covered with dog hair. The second thing that's interesting is that the shower/bathroom is communal (called sento in Japanese). Not only that we get to see each other's butt while showering, there's this huge jacuzzi like bathtub that can fit more than 15 people at the same time. As much as I like the thought of bunch of naked men showering together, it was hardly the right situation nor crowd to have the fantasy, so it was rather awkward experience for me. It surely didn't help when the camera-man came in and took a photo of us too. When I become the next Prime Minister of Canada, I know that photo will be my downfall.

So, the second day, we got our hair shaved off. It was a rather peaceful moment for me. I guess I have imagined that moment quite a few times already, so when it finally happened, I was glad it was over. You will really appreciate your hair once you not have any. Your head feels so cold when you don't have a hat on, but it's hot when you wear one. Hair really act as a buffer layer between your head and its environment. After the hair-shaving "ceremony", we walked in the snow with our full monk gown for 6 hours. Let's just say it was very cold and I can't remember much from the walk and the rest of the day other than lots of people slided and fell and some of them even had their wooden slippers flew off *wink Ray* Oh, and we weren't allow to eat after breakfast so we were really like skeletons walking the entire day.

We get to shop the next two days and I got everything I wanted from two Buddhist Statues and lots of accessories. Ten of us also made a trip to Kyoto and visited three temples. It was really great visiting those temples again, especially I get to visit them with my best friends.

I said goodbye to my master and other classmates at the airport. It was a very emotional moment. The past 10 months had been a life exchanging experience for me, and we really had became like a huge family. It's going to be weird not to be able to see them every week at the temple anymore.

More photos here.

Flying

I'm going to be at the airport in about an hour. There are so much to type about the trip and so much different kinds of emotion running through my head. I guess those all has to leave till I go home.

This is going to be a very difficult day.

Buddhafied complete

Half graduated

I got half of my monk certificate today!

So, I'm leaving to Japan tomorrow to get my monk certificate and get my hair shaved off, but we got one small graduation ceremony today in Hong Kong, to get the recognition from my temple.

I can't wait till tomorrow. Appearently it's all snowy up on the mountain right now. It's going to be very cold with my bald head. It's going to be very interesting to feel what Scotty usually feel on a winter day.

Okay, I really should finish packing. I'll type and upload more photos when I get back on Wednesday! Until then, stay warm kids.