Buddhafied

Multi-task

*I saw a lady walking on the side of the street while reading a book*

me: "Bubba, I can never understand how people can read while walking."

Scott: "why?"

me: "Well, I can see how people can text message while walking because at least you conduct what you type in your head and you just type it out afterward, but for reading you don't know what you're about to read, so you have to concentrate on that, it just doesn't seem to be enjoyable to walk and read at the same time."

Scott: *pat on my head* "Some people can multi-task... but it's okay."

me: "......"

Reality porn

*Watching the Amazing Race and a couple were kissing on TV*

me: Bubba, if we were ever to go on shows like this will you kiss me in front of the camera?

Scott: I don't want to make porn.

me: BUBBA, HOW IS KISSING BEING PORN?

Scott: SHH, I'm watching TV.

Deep and meaningful conversations

I find myself talking to Cleo a lot when Scotty’s not home. I thought I’ll share some of our deep conversations.

Humphrey: There you go; the TV is on for you when I’m gone. It’s on your favourite channel, Teletoon.
Cleo: *Stares*
Humphrey: No, you’re not watching ESPN, we already got one of those in the house, and we don’t need another one. Besides, you’ll learn bad habits from watching boxing. We can watch wrestling when I come home, though, you can learn to protect me when we are chased by mullet people.

Cleo: *stares at Humphrey*
Humphrey: Stop looking at me, I’m not him, I have not bald and I’m Asian, and staring at me won’t change that.

Cleo: *Yawn*
Humphrey: Cleo, maybe you should close your mouth when you yawn next time. It’s not very lady-like… what, I’m just telling you the truth. Do you want me to just say things you want to hear? It’s not that easy to use the word “cookie” in every sentence you know.

Humphrey: Cleo, look at the little puppy on TV, he runs around and do things. Maybe you should be more active and do stuff. While you’re at it, go find a job and start making money for your own cookies, and maybe you can buy me something nice for once…… hey, you look at me when I’m talking to you!
Cleo: *walk to the bedroom*

Humphrey: Cleo, do you think I look good in this?
Cleo: *stare*
Humphrey: Well, you don’t look very good with those white furs of yours too. In fact, you look fat in it! See, that wasn't very nice, was it?

Crying Vulcan

Me in the car whinning.

Me: You don't care when I cry anymore.

Scotty: When you fake cry I don't. Beside, you can't hide your emotions.

Me: I can hide my emotions perfectly!

Scotty: No you can't, you cry when you're drunk and when you're at the airport.

Me: That's just two occasions!

Scotty: Yeah, but you go to the airport all the time. Bubba, you can't hide your emotions, you won't be a very good Vulcan.

Me: BUBBA!

Cleo's email

Scott was putting a checklist of to-do's before he left Hong Kong. I was checking it out when I found one item read "email Chris/Cleo", I thought it was funny so I teased him:

me: Bubba, what do you mean emailing Chris/Cleo, Cleo doesn't even have an email.

Scott: Yes, she does.

me: No she doesn't! What's her email address then.

Scott: humphrey-abandoned-me-at-hotmail-dot-com.

me: BUBBA!

Scott: En-ough!

So, just for fun, I'v signed up that email for Cleo! Email her sometimes, you might get dog treats sent to you.

I've also uploaded 165 photos of Scott's Hong Kong trip, look at them if you're bored.

Stop fluffing the freaking pillow

me: Hello!

Scotty: Hello.

me: What are you doing?

Scotty: Nothing, just waiting to watch Brothers & Sisters. Cleo and I are on the couch. She is acting crazy right now.

me: What is she doing?

Scotty: Well, she has been taking up all my room on the couch. She's either trying to snuggle up from the back, or when I'm on one side of the couch, she'll want to sit next to the arm of that side, then when I move to the other side, she'll follow and take the arm, she wouldn't let me have an arm tonight! Now she's rubbing her nose on the couch and snorting.

me: *giggle* Oh, Bubba.

Scotty: That's not funny...... Cleo, stop following me!

me: She just wants to spend time with you.

Scotty: No, she's being...... Cleo, that's enough!

me: Bubba, she likes you, and she's always like this.

Scotty: No, she's annoying me, and you've done a bad job training her. You're a bad father.

me: BUBBA!!! I'm a great father, maybe you've been giving her bad habits!

Scotty: No, I'm doing a great job...... Cleo, stop fluffing the freakin pillow! All you do is walking around on it in circle.

me: *laugh*

Traveling plans

me: Bubba, mom suggested the YMCA hotel while you stay in Hong Kong. She said it's at a quite good location.

Scotty: Bubba, I'm not staying at the YMCA!

me: It's not the YMCA, it's the YMCA International Hotel!

Scotty: Enough. I want to stay at a brand name hotel, like the Sheraton, the Ramada, or at least the Holiday Inn... I'm on vacation, and I want a four-stars or five-stars hotel.

me: This is Hong Kong, those hotels are expensive, and you're staying for 9 nights, it adds up.

Scotty: Well, you can cover my food then... besides, the YMCA hotel has pretty bad reviews here. It says here: "the room was very small and had a musky smell. The air conditioner was extremely loud - one had to choose between cool air and a lot of noise." I'm not staying there.

me: Bubba, people who wrote reviews are often those who had bad experiences with the hotel. They were bitter and wanted to complain.

Scotty: Oh, here's another one with only one star: "we had rooms in the older wing which were very drab and 60s looking, and the beds were extremely hard with only a thin blanket. And the hotel bathroom (bath tub) is very dirty."

me: Fine, we don't have to stay there.

Scotty: We?

me: Yes, I'm staying with you for those 10 days! I'm not letting you staying at a hotel in this city by yourself. You'll be like on estancy with Asian boys everywhere! Anyway, I think we should go to Macau as well, it's close by.

Scotty: I'm not going to China!

me: Bubba, Macau is not "China"!

Scotty: People are going to cut my heart out or something. I just watched a movie where these tourists in Brazil got their organs taken out and stuff, scary.

me: It's Macau, not Brazil! It's very safe there.

Scotty: Yeah, and your mom wants us to stay at a rat hole. she probably wants me to get rabbies or something.

me: BUBBA!

Anniversary Conversation part 2

And the anniversary conversation continues...

me: Bubba, I think I know which movie it is!

Scotty: What are you talking about?

me: The movie of our first date, it was War of the Worlds!

Scotty: When was that?

me: June 28th.

Scotty: I don't want it in June.

me: BUBBA, IT'S NOT UP TO YOU TO DECIDE THAT!

Scotty: Yes I can. It's July 9th.

me: What movie was that?

Scotty: Dark Water.

me: Someone I don't like has July 9th as birthday, I don't want it on that day.

Scotty: July 10th, then.

me: Bubba, I don't want our anniversary day on a Cancer!

Scotty: Bubba, June, 28th is a Cancer as well!

me: Maybe we can move it to August then, I love Leo's.

Scotty: No.

Anniversary conversation

Scotty: Chris and John are having their anniversary soon.

me: Bubba, we don't even have an anniversary day.

Scotty: It's May 6th.

me: How do you know? Did you find out?

Scotty: It's the release date of Kingdom of Heaven.

me: Are you sure that was our first movie? I guess it probably was... I did keep the movie stub.

Scotty: Actually, the movie was before Bill's birthday, so maybe not.

me: Yeah, we didn't start before Bill's birthday. Infact, we weren't even together at your birthday.

Scotty: Well, it must be Starwar: Episode III's release date then.

me: BUBBA, WE'RE NOT HAVING OUR ANNIVERSARY ON STARWAR'S RELEASE DATE!

Scotty: I don't know... it could be it...

me: Wait, we couldn've have seen it on the day of. I mean, there was no way we could've get into the theatre that day.

Scotty: I guess so. Maybe we watched it a week later or something.

me: Must be it. So, we still don't have a date.

Scotty: Nope.