Buddhafied

Sofa Bed

The Shoebox app, or more famously the Timehop app, gives you a glimpse of your past by showing you your photos and updates from the exact day in history. Today, when I opened the app, it showed me a photo of my place I took 4 years ago that seemed very not interesting - a bulky TV hardly anyone uses anymore, a green plant probably should have stayed outside, a few extra Snoopy stuffed toy than a 30 year old man should have - but I remember vividly the emotions when I took this particular photo as I had just brought home one of the single most important purchase of my adult life - my sofa bed. 

After the break up with Scott, I moved to this tiny place above a garage, which I am still currently living in. Beginning my new single life, all I had was a TV that Scott didn't want, a few pots, pans and a cutting board Bill and Todd gave me so I can cook, my personal belongings, and an air mattress Chris lent me. The air mattress was not very comfortable, each night, before I went to bed, I had to inflate it again as it will slowly leak through the night. I tried to repair it many times. I learned to brush soap water on the mattress so I can see where the holes were and used duct tapes over it. I even brought it to work one time to use industrial glue to seal the holes. I told myself that it would do for now, it was meant to be a temporary solution anyway. 

It was not until July 17, 2011, 254 days after I started living on my own, when I finally had the courage to go to Ikea to get a "proper" bed.

Thinking back, I never quite understand what took me so long to make the step. I think part of it was the living condition fitted with my mental state during that time - I was lost, messed up, and unhappy - the mattress was unreliable, uncomfortable, and deflating. In my head, as long as I was sleeping on this temporary air mattress, my unhappiness was really just a temporary thing. It was a form of denial.

I remember the day when I decided to go to Ikea was a big day for me. I have been measuring my living space for months by then, and I flipped through the Ikea catalogue countless times. I knew exactly which sofa bed I wanted because there really was only one that fitted the dimensions of my space. Getting this bed meant I was ready for the next step of my life. I was both nervous and excited. 

I went to Ikea Coquitlam, one of the largest Ikea in Canada. I looked through the showroom, checked out the sofa bed on the show floor, copied down all the numbers I needed for the bed and prepared to walk down to the warehouse side to pickup the components. When I finally got to the stairway, I froze. "What if they don't have the bed I want?" I asked myself, "what if I have to go home empty handed?" I was too afraid of another disappointment in life. The thought of going home without a bed, at that moment, was more intimidating than waking up on a laminated floor with a sore back from a slow-leak mattress everyday. I cannot do it.

As I was having an anxiety attack, I texted Marv. "He had been through as much emotional roller coasters as I did, he will understand." I said to myself. Marv ensured me it was going to be okay. Why wouldn't it be? After all, it's Ikea, they have a giant warehouse, they have everything. So I nervously made my way to the aisles where the sofa bed components were going to be. To my horror, they didn't have what I written down. I couldn't find the frame, the mattress nor the bed covers. Feeling defeated, I walked over to a clerk and asked if the Richmond location will have the bed. He searched on his computer and found that only the bed frame was available there but the mattress part was on back order.

I was angry. It took me 7 months to get to the point when I finally had the courage to get this sofa bed. "It's not even a real bed! Just a sofa bed. This was a horrible idea." I angrily texted Marv. This one thing that was suppose to make me feel better about myself, but they don't have it. "I should just go home and do this when I am ready again," I texted as I was walking back to my car feeling I just wanted to go lay down on my air mattress. Marv then asked me to go to the Richmond store anyway, despite it's 45 minutes away. "Go get the bed frame first," he texted, "you can put your air mattress on it and at least you will have something tonight." I resisted the idea. I didn't want half a bed, I want everything to come together and be perfect. "Do it for me, if you can't do it for yourself." He then said. So, despite I felt this was a waste of time, I went to Richmond.

When I got to the Richmond Ikea, I didn't waste time and walked straight into the warehouse section and found a clerk. I told him the item numbers I was looking for as well as the other store had already told me I have to come back from the mattress in a week. He checked on his computer as I prepared myself for another disappointment. "I found it, and looks like we have the mattress as well." He said. "It's not possible, they said the mattresses are sold out." I questioned. "Sometimes the stock comes in and we don't have time to enter everything into the system." He smiled as he printed me a pick list. I quickly ran to the cashier while texting Marv, "they have it! They have the mattress and the frame!" I drove my Jeep to the pickup warehouse and a nice gentlemen helped me loaded 4 giant boxes, and my new mattress, into my car. 

I didn't want anyone to help me with assembling this sofa bed. "This is going to be my thing" I told himself. So I carried these giant boxes up the stairs one by one. I used every ounce of energy I had to make my way up to the top of the stairs without falling down. Despite it was a workout, I had a smile on my face the whole time. I then spent the next 2 hours reading the instructions and carefully putting all the pieces together. Minute by minute, the pieces started to look more and more like a bed. When I finally finish putting the navy blue cover onto the mattress, I stood at the end of the bed, took the photo that is on top of this page, and started clapping.

Four years later, I look at this photo again, I still remember how silly I felt as I was cheering myself over this small accomplishment, but I didn't care. At that moment, all I knew was that I finally have a bed. I finally took my first step to make my life better for myself.

Happy anniversary, sofa bed, thanks for putting a stop to my leaky life.

#45/365 – Sofa Bed

Urge

I have the urge to type something again. The last five years was some of the most challenging and interesting times of my life. I can honestly said that I have lived it. Now that life is slowly putting back into order (still with many more interesting planned for myself), I think it's time for me to take a step back, once in a while, to write again. 

Ewen

A month ago, on June 9th, when I was driving home, at the corner of my eyes I saw two crows bullying something. Being the just-in-case-I-should-intervene person that I am, I stopped my car and found a young white pigeon injured. Even though it was just nature doing its natural selection, it was tough for me not to save it. So I sighed, knowing in the back of my head all my friends will be judging me as the crazy guy who saved a pigeon, grabbed my jacket, picked up the bird while the crows flew around wanting to attack me from taking their dinner (which they are rightfully so) and ran back to my car.

I called my friend Tamara as she knows a lot about animals, and she told me whom to call. Long story short, the bird ended up transferred to Burnaby Wildlife Rescue. I named it Ewen, the street where I found it.

Throughout the month, I called in weekly to check up on the bird. They said it was severely injured, but as weeks went by, it seemed more and more it will survive and can be released. Today, I got a call telling me I can go release the bird. I was delighted to hear the news.

To my surprised, the release process was a one-man job. I arrived at the location, they gave me a kennel with Ewen and 5 other rescued pigeons. The staff suggested me a location where I should release them. I gave them whatever cash I have on me as a donation and thanked them for their work and there I was, an Asian guy with a kennel of 6 pigeons. Let me say I was a bit worried people think I was going to eat these things.

I drove down to the Quay, in New Westminster, as they said it would be nice to release Ewen and his friends with a lot of other pigeons around. On my way, I coached them that they should stay away from crows from there on, and that it is extremely hot out there so stay hydrated. I sat the kennel on a bench, opened the door and watched them walked out one by one and flew away as I said goodbye to them.

It was a nice feeling to be able to be part of this release. A week ago, I had to say goodbye to someone I love, letting him go so he can be a happier person at the other side of the country. I chose the Quay to release Ewen because it was the same spot our first date was, where we walked down the boardwalk. It was oddly therapeutic.

I walked back to my car, sat down feeling both empty and rewarded. I turned on the radio.

It was playing Sarah McLaughlin’s Black Bird.

     
   

#44/365 – Ewen

Proud

I know I haven't said it, but I'm proud of you. 

That was all that needed to turn my day around. Thank you.

 

#43/365 – Proud

Invested with Lavas

Is my English horrible? Not extremely. Do I make a lot of mistakes if I don't think about what I type? Very much so. I am the first to admit my English is pretty awful at times. I often use incorrect word tense and I spell words according to how they sound to me, instead of how they really spell. When I make silly mistakes, I like to call them "Humperism". It takes some people years to fully understand them. 

Do you think you can decode Humperism?

---

Me: Guess what???!!!

Him: Hey. What?

Me: TOTORO CAME LAST NIGHT!!! The acorns, they sprouted!!!!!

Him: Really?

Me: I just finished my run, I walked passed my pot where the acorns are, some of them made it through the winter and sprouted!!!!!

Him: Oh wow. Well, life finds a way.

Me: Yeah! Apparently, not all of them got invested with lavas!!!

Him: Invested with lavas?

Me: Remember, I brought them back from Barrington.

Him: "Infested with larvae". Got it. Figured it out. 

Me: YEAH!!! Those words!!!  I'm going to have acorn trees!

Him: Yep. Investments with llamas

Me: Oh SHUUUUUUUUUSH!

 

#42/365 – Invested with Lavas

Stop

I've been having a minor knee injury for the past few days. My right knee started to get sore after runs, and after my 24km run last Saturday (and doing laser tag and bowling after) it was noticably injured. Instead of pushing myself to try to run the following few days, I caved in and gave myself a break. It was tough to tell myself to stop, as I really wanted to stick to my training schedule of running 5 days a week, but during my internal conflict I remember what my friend Tamara told me when Scott and I broken up: "it's okay to be not okay". I know these two are complete unrelated topics, but I see myself acting the same way – trying to act like nothing happened but in fact I'm lying to myself, things are not getting better.

The ability to forgive yourself for not able to always perform your best is important. At rough times, we are allowed to take a step back, slow down and take care of a very important person – ourself.

#41/365 – Stop

Ni no Kuni

My most anticipated game of 2013, which actually was supposed to be my most anticipated of 2012 but got delayed, is finally releasing! I've pre-ordered my copy since August last year and could not wait for it to be in my hands! I mean, Studio Ghibli (My Neighbour Totoro, Spirted Away, etc) and Level 5 (the Professor Layton series), how can they fail? The graphic and the music is just so stunning in this trailer! 

 

Just a few more days... hopefully my Wizard Edition of the game will arrive!

#40/365 – Ni no Kuni

Amaluna

I've been too many Cirque du Soleil shows. Too many that I start to think that I should pull a @Blogography and start a new section in my blog to talk about them, just like he does for Hard Rock Café. My love affair with Cirque started when I worked for them one summer. See, back when I was dating Michael, his security company had contracts with Cirque du Soleil's Alegría and Quidam. At the end of the one month job, they treated us to watch a dress rehearsal to thank us, and I instantly was memorized by their stunny stage, artistic performances and athletic abilities. Therefore, each time when they come to town, I always try to go see them, even though they can cost quite a bit. So far, I've been to (in the order that I've seen them) Alegría, Quidam, Varekai, Corteo, Kooza, O, Kà and on last Thursday, I saw their newest show Amaluna.

To be honest, I was a bit hesitated to see Amaluna. First of all, Cirque du Soleil and I had a very weird relationship. When I went to see Quidam, Michael had just recently broke up with me; I had to pushed myself to find someone to watch it so I didn't have to go alone. Varekai was part of Scott's birthday present back in 2006, which he fell in love with Cirque and bought many souvenirs, one of which is the few things I kept from the relationship: a leather mask in the shape of the sun. Therefore, last December when I was in Vegas, seeing O and Kà was a breakthrough for me as they were the first shows I see Cirque again. That said, going to the Big Top to see a travelling show is completely different... the location, the memories, I wasn't sure how I was going to handle that mentally. Moreover, like I said, I already saw 2 shows in less than 2 months already, as much as I love Cirque, it's a little bit too crazy, even for me. At the end, after some thoughts, I decided to get the ticket anyway, mostly because I know I will regret for not catching it, especially the chance of me being in the same city the show is going to be at is rather slim.

I am so glad I went.

The moment I walked close enough to see the Big Top, my feeling of worried and panic was swept away by all the happy memories I had with Cirque: the people whom I used to work with, the popcorn, the music, the happy times when I was with Scott. Everything rushed back in at the same time. I just love these guys! Then of course there was the show, what Cirque du Soleil is known for, and boy did they deliver. Being freshly seen O, arguably their most polish show, I wasn't sure if Amaluna can impress me like O did, after all, I waited over 10 years to see O and with that much anticipation it still didn't disappoint. I can safely say Amulana was unique and different enough for me to completely fell in love with it. Without putting too much spoilers out, let me write down a few of my impression of the show.

Amaluna was a very fast pace show, compare to all of the other ones I've seen. Most Cirque shows has distinguishly slower sequences at times, but almost the entire first part of Amaluna was fast pace acts accompanied by rock n' roll music, which I was a total surprise. Even the aerial contortion act were fast pace! It was also a very female oriented show, where both the plot and performers were predominately females, yet you don't find it being too "girly", if you know what I mean. The story was very easy to follow and the comedic relieves were mostly on point. As for the show stealer act, I can't speak highly enough of it. As I recall, there were many acts from different shows of Cirque that I love, but only a handful of them had my jaw dropped: Alegría's power tracks, Quidam's statue and Kooza's wheel of death, and I have to add Amaluna's "balance goddess" into the list. I can't emphasized how amazing to watch the talented Lara Jacobs creating an art piece right in front of you with nothing but herself and pieces of woods. It was so simple yet out-of-the-world difficult, slow but heart-pounding. If there was one act that gets your money worth, it was this. Of course, every single segment of the show was fantastic, but I will always remember how zen it was to witness Lara ending her piece.

Overall, Amaluna is definitely amongst the favourites of all Cirque's shows I've watched. I love each of the show for very different reasons and one day I'd like to explore more about them, but for now, I highly recommend Amaluna to anyone who has yet to see Cirque du Soleil live or to those who are veteran sun followers.

#39/365 – Amaluna

Beautiful tragedies

A tragic lost of one life spurred many fountains of life; a difference of one life changed the people around him forever. We often think we are too small to change; we often think we are too young to do something. Never underestimate what one wish can do; never underestimate one life can do. Two videos, two stories; equally inspirational.

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." ~Lao-tzu

 

 

#38/365 – Beautiful tragedies

Calbee

To say that I'm not a potato kind of guy is an understatement. I am pretty Westernized in most parts, compare to a lot of my Asian friends who were born outside of North America, but when it comes to my diet, I can not be more Chinese. I enjoy the occasional steak and hot-dog, but if I haven't had rice for a few days, I can physically feel that my body is missing something. In Chinese, we call this missing "rice-chi" (飯氣), basically means lacking the energy of rice. What worse is nothing can replace this craving, I have to have actual rice! In Chinese we have a slang called "rice bucket" (飯桶), referring to people who are idiots. As I'm a literally a human "rice bucket" with the way I consume rice, I often get called that.

When we talk about non-Asian food, I am pretty much not a fan of potato and bread, which, funny enough, are the stable carbs in the Western diet, just like rice for Asians. Pasta is okay though, but similar to potatoe and bread, I can only eat so much before I find it way too stuffy and unhealthily filling. This extend to almost all potato and bread-based food like chips, fries and biscuits, with two exceptions: McDonald's fries Calbee potato chips.

Like many kids with similar background as I do, going to McDonald's was a huge treat when we were growing up. And despite many American Chinese restaurants has deep fried items on their menu, traditional Chinese food hardly have anything that is deep fried, so having McDonald's fries were exotic enough for me as a kid, that even till now knowing they soaked their fries in tons of sugar and vinegar, I still like them a lot. Calbee chips, on the other hand, I had quite a bit while growing up.

In Japan, Calbee is one of the biggest snack manufacturers. Their shrimp cracker sticks (kappa ebissen) were what made them well-known. In their selection of snacks, my favourite has always been their chips, in particular their BBQ flavour chips. As I recall, it might have been the first chips I've ever had. Compare to regular chips in North America, it has a slightly stronger flavour yet way less salt, so you can taste the chips better. They call it BBQ but to be honest, it taste more like roasted or baked. Nevertheless, like my stable diet, rice, whenever I have craving for chips, I just want these Calbee chips as they are pretty awesome.

Up until very recently, I thought this is their standard flavour, as when they introduced Calbee in the 70's Hong Kong, that's the only flavour they offered. However, I found out this flavour only exist in Hong Kong and Sigapore market! (On their website, they listed a flavour called "Sapporo Barbecue Flavor" that was introduced in 1974. I've never tried it, but maybe that was the origin of the BBQ flavour known today.) Apparently, they have different type of flavours for different market; that is why when I tried to locate them in Austin, Texas, I can only find all other exotic flavours like Seaweed and Salt but not my favourite BBQ kind! 

Anyway, on a night I'm slightly bummed out that my right knee is a little sore from training too hard, these Calbee chips with a can of Pepsi is making my life pretty darn good.

#37/365 – Calbee