Buddhafied

2012

Alright, it's the time of the year that everyone makes some form of list, or at least takes a mental note, of what he/she should accomplish in the next 365 days. I can tell you that I am horrible with New Year resolutions. I have enough battles in my head, each morning, negotiating getting up. That being said, I discovered two things last year:

1. The concept of "one-step-at-a-time" – as long as I know there is a destination, I have enough mental focus to get there. Without a clear visual destination, I will procastinate.
2. Gamers are persistence with goals and small tasks (well, good gamers at least, which I will bite your head off if you even remotely argue I am anything but a good gamer) – being a gamer for nearly 3 decades, I got the patient to do tasks that are even the most boring things as long as there is a visual reward at the end, even if it's as stupid as a congratulations message "you have earned the ultimate-finished-everything-in-the-game trophy" or a piece of paper with all the goals crossed out. Without that visual reward, I will procastinate.

So here it is, based on these two discoveries, it is better for me to at least have a list of things I want to accomplish. This list will be like a game for me, they are like "side-missions" and I know I'm good with those.

Now, I've posted the list here. Most of them are quite self-contained except for a few that require some conditions from others. I think it's a very realistic list in which it will challenge me on some level but not too far-fetch.

I am pretty eager to start crossing things out on this list actually. To start, I'm going to make this entry part of my 365 days of happiness entries... because... making goals make me happy(?!)... oh shush, I just made bunch of goals and wrote two posts in 24 hours, at least cut me a slack on finding another thing to be happy about!

... and the negotiation begins...

Reincarnated

Everything that has a beginning has an end. Being a Buddhist, this is not a concept that I'm unfamiliar of, yet it was the hardest one to accept.

The last 14 months was probably the most challenging time of my life. Within a few months, I experienced lost of a relationship, lost of almost everything that I've owned and built up during that relationship and then lost of Cleo. Followed by trying to pick myself back up while carrying all the sorrows, regrets and guilt I had. It was the kind of sadness that could happen to anyone anyday, but for me, the day lasted days, weeks and then months.

What came out of these experiences – the meltdown opening the vet's sympathy card, which you refused to open even months after your pet died, and found there were a paw print included; the collapse from heat exhaustion, during a half marathon you've trained for months, at a few yards before the finish line; the denial of happiness, that you slept on an aero-mattress for 7 months and 12 days, even at last minute in front of the checkout counter at Ikea you felt like you can't pay because buying a bed means accepting this is your new reality, that you are alone – is that I know how to appreciate what is in front of me before I lose them; is that I know I can fall down and still be a winner; is that I know I can be happy again.

What I also learned was that I am never alone and I am loved. I am surrounded by people who think I am the most precious thing they have and they will always be there for me because they love me, regardless of the mistakes that I've made. I am proud that I am part of their lives.

So, here I am again, ready to share my thoughts, ready to search for my happiness, ready to continue what I left off. I'm rebooting this blog, it is now Buddhafied: Reincarnated. Same format, same run-on sentences, a new me.

I am back. Happy 2012, everyone.

Aidan

365 Days of Happiness - #18/365 Aidan

Often enough, when our mind is occupied by all the daily chores and problems we have, we forget that there are people out there with real problems and they are struggling something bigger than life. I read this story about little Aidan today and his courage to live, even at such young age of 5.

From Aid for Aidan:

[What] makes Aidan different than most children is that on September 13, 2010 he was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL).  He was strong and pulled through his first round of chemo all while teasing his nurses and vistors. Although this was a small victory Aidan, unfortunately, must go through 2 to 3 more years of chemo treatments and everything that goes along with that.

[...]

In order to help his family out we have started selling prints of his works as well as a few originals on Etsy at www.AidansMonsters.Etsy.com. All proceeds will go directly to Aidan’s medical bills.

Seeing pictures of this little guy and the amount of life he has put me to shame for whinning and complaining about my unhappy moments. It also makes me happy to see his amazing prints, showing how nothing can destroy a young kid's creative mind. It put a smile on my face.

Please help little Aidan by donating your spare change or purchase a print to decorate your home. It might inspire and remind you to get out of your shell one day, like it did for me today.

This is happiness.

Friends

365 Days of Happiness - #17/365 Friends

I had to take a break from the blog and this 365 days project for a week, as there were times that I truly cannot see the end of the tunnel. Trying to find something that is happy to talk about was as difficult to find a lost needle in the ocean at times the past week.

Now that I'm "back", there is one thing I truly want to say to all of you: thank you.

I know many of you read this blog and check-in on me on a regular basis. Even though some of you will never admit it, I know you do. Throughout the past little while, especially the last two weeks, I've been getting tremedous amount of supports from so many of you. Co-workers, blogger buddies, twitter tweeps and my long time friends, all of you had sent me messages, emails, encouraging comments to cheer me up and have given me strength. For that I feel that I am extremely lucky and honoured to have all of you. Most of you have no clue what is going on with me, but you all care and just wanted me to be better.

Some people say we live in the day and age where human interaction and communication is becoming numb. What I have experienced from all of you proved that theory to be wrong. All I received was unconditional love.

When I was doing my Buddhist prilgrimage. I had to study the meaning of the Kongokai Mandala. Kongokai roughly translates to "principles of the everlasting-bond" (or some refer it to "the principles of the diamond world). The Kongokai is a Mandala with many Buddhas and each one of them is always surrounded by four others.

To me, this Mandala always means each and everyone of us are deeply connected with each other. Each Buddha is its own center circle, yet that circle is also part of another circle. Each section of this Manadala has its own little "community", yet they all co-exist in the same world, reflecting and affecting each other. Nobody can exist in this world without some form of help and love from others, the Kongokai Mandala represents how important that connection is.

Recently, I haven't been able to focus on my Buddhist studies, but through all of you I learned a valuable lesson and the true meaning of Kongokai.

Thank you, my dear friends, for loving me

This is happiness.

6,000 steps

365 Days of Happiness - #16/365 6,000 steps

The news is full of negativity these days. Once in a while, however, you will read about something that touches you and make you feel warm and fuzzy. This one does the trick for me today. The news itself wasn't new, but I stubbled across it a few nights ago when I couldn't sleep (how ironic after I typed this only a few nights ago). Funny enough, on the night when I least expected to read about a story like this...

Man Carves Wife a 6,000 Stair Path in Mountain
weirdasiannews.com

A weird love story has come out of China recently and managed to touch the world. It is a story of a man and an older woman who ran off to live and love each other in peace for over half century.

Over 50 years ago, Liu, was a 19 years-old boy, fell in love with a 29 year-old widowed mother named Xu. At the time, it was unacceptable and immoral for a young man to love an older woman.

To avoid the market gossips, the couple decided to elope and lived in a cave in Jiangjin County in Southern ChongQing area.

In the beginning, they had nothing, no electricity or even food. They had to eat grass and roots they found in the mountain, and Liu made a kerosene lamp that they used to lighten up their lives.

Starting the second year of living in the mountain, Liu began, and continue for over 50 years, to hand carve the steps so that his wife could get down the mountain easily.

A half century later in 2001, a group of adventures were exploring the forest, they surprisingly found the elderly couple and the over 6,000 stairs of hand carved ladder.

“My parents loved each other so much, they have lived in seclusion for over 50 years and never been apart a single day.” Liu MingSheng, one of their seven children said, “He hand carved more than 6,000 steps over the years for my mother’s convenience, although she doesn’t go down the mountain that much.”

The couple had lived in peace for over 50 years until last week. Liu, now 72 years-old, returned from his daily farm work and collapsed. Xu sat and prayed with her husband as he passed away in her arms.

So in love with Xu, was Liu, that no one was able to release the grip he had on his wife’s hand even after he had passed away.

“You promised me you’ll take care of me, you’ll always be with me until the day I died, now you left before me, how am I going to live without you?” … …

Xu spent days softly repeating this sentence and touching her husband’s black coffin with tears rolling down her cheeks.

In 2006, their story had became one of the top 10 love stories from China, collected by the Chinese Women Weekly. The local government has decided to preserve the "love ladder" and the place they lived as a museum, so this love story can live forever.

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. - Eden Ahbez

This is happiness.

Flower of the Other Shore 彼岸花

365 Days of Happiness - #15/365 Flower of the Other Shore 彼岸花

(As I'm typing this, I have no idea how I can make this into an entry about happiness. I know, however, whenever I tell this story, it always give relief to the person I tell it to. So, I'll just continue typing until I can find the conclusion of this.)

There is this flower called Lycoris Radiata, also known as Red Spider Lily. In both Japanese and Chinese culture, this flower has some very special meanings.

The Red Spider Lily is called the 彼岸花 ("Flower of the Other Shore" aka "Flower of Paradise") in Chinese, and 曼珠沙華 [まんじゅしゃげ] (manjushaka) in Japanese.

In Chinese culture, three days before and after the Equinox is known as 彼岸 (other shore), and the Red Spider Lily precisely blossom around the the Autumn Equinox every year; hence its name. A special trait about this flower is that when the flower blossom, the leaves would have fallen; and when the leaves are growing, the flower would have already wilted. The two always miss each others in all its incarnates.

I have never seen this flower in real life, yet I know a couple legends about it.

It said that there is a river in the underworld called 忘川 (Forgotten River). Similar to River Stnx in Greek Mythology, the Forgotten River separates the underworld and the living world. When the dead crosses this river to get to the other side, all the memories of his/her past life will disappear. Growing on the shore of this river are these fiery Red Spider Lilies. Legend has it that the scent of the flowers will bring back all the beautiful memories of the dead for one last time, before they disappear when cross the river.

The other legend has it that when a relationship ended, no matter how sad it is, a Red Spider Lily will grow around the Forgotten River. To proof that the love did exist and something beautiful will always remain at the other side of the shore.

I find these two legends both sad yet beautiful.

My favourite songstress, Faye Wong, wrote a song titled this flower. The song is the conclusion of a five part journey about searching for love: 寒武記 The Cambrian Era (the beginning), 新房客 New Tenant (opening up), 香奈兒 Channel (the joy), 阿修羅 Ashura (the conflict), 彼岸花 Paradise Flower (the end/rebirth).

 

 彼岸花 Paradise Flower
王菲 Faye Wong

看見的 Those that I saw
熄滅了 It extinguished

消失的 Those that disappeared
記住了 I remembered

我站在 I stand
海角天涯 At the edge of the world

聽見 I heard
土壤萌芽 Sprouting beneath the soil

等待 Waiting
曇花再開 For Night-blooming Cereus¹ to bloom again

把芬芳 Leaving
留給年華 Wonderful scents to the era

彼岸 Paradise
沒有燈塔 Have no lighthouse

我依然 I still
張望著 Look ahead

天黑 It's dark
刷白了頭髮 Hair turning gray

緊握著 Gripping
我火把 Onto my torch

他來 He comes
我對自己說 I tell myself

我不害怕 I'm not afraid
我很愛他 I do love him

Life is full of regrets, but at the end, there are always beautiful things remain. Whether they are happy memories, unconditional love or just a foundation to build a better future, there is always a brighter side to things than it seems.

I guess this is the reason for this post. I guess this is the reason to live. I guess this is the reason to have hope.

This is happiness.

 

---

¹ Night-blooming Cereus or Epiphyllum Oxypetalum blooms rarely and only at night - mysteriously, the flower wilts before dawn.The Chinese idiom 曇花一現 (Once every Epiphyllum Oxypetalum) uses this flower to describe beautiful things are often short-lived. Wikipedia

Hugs

365 Days of Happiness - #14/365 Hugs

I was born in a culture that doesn't do much hugging. I am glad that I grew up and am living in one that does.

I have to admit, before I understand the concept of hugging, when I was little, I was fairly intimidated by it. partly it's the idea of touching another human being closely, partly because I wasn't comfortable enough with my sexuality that I think boys will think I like them and, even scarier thoughts, the girls will think I like them. As I get older though, and finally opening up and allowing people to come into my world, I am dying to get a hug from people.

One simple hug, it breaks all the distance you have with another human being. You are attached to the person and at the same time "watching each other's back". It is a gesture of love, protection and trust. It transfers energy from one person to another and two people become one with arms shaping like ying and yang. Because of this reason, as a monk, I can always recall this "intimate" moment I have with anyone and use it as an access point if I ever need to send good vibes through space spiritually.

A blogger friend, Matterdays, said in his 100 Things About Me which summarize what hugging means to me: "Even just a quick hug and an 'everything will be okay' gives me huge amounts of strength".

Thank you the amazingly talented Dave2 of Blogography for the Davetoon above. You might not know, the toon couldn't have came at a better timing.

This is happiness.

Kathy Griffin

365 Days of Happiness - #13/365 Kathy Griffin

 

Doraemon

365 Days of Happiness - #12/365 Doraemon

Growing up I love watching anime and read mangas (Japanese comic books). In my generation, if you are even slightly familiar with Japanese cartoons from the 70's to 80's time, you will know who is Doraemon, Gadget Cat of the Future.

Doraemon is a Japanese manga series which later became an anime series and an Asian franchise. The series is about a robotic cat named Doraemon, who travels back in time from the 22nd century to aid a schoolboy, Nobita. 

wikipedia

One unique thing about Doraemon is that, because he came from the future, he has all these little gadgets from the future that he can take out from his front pocket at his wish (the pocket is like a different dimension, where he can pull things that are as large as a house from inside). Though a lot of his gadgets are not the best models (Doraemon is considered as a lower level robot), for the current era everything can make life much easier. Some of his famous tools include a helicopter rotor wing device that you can put on your head and make you fly, a fishing-rod that can fish up things that you have lost, a door that can take you anywhere in the world, etc.

Doraemon and Nobita, a lazy, often got bullied, lack of confident young kid, along with his best friends set out to many adventures that ended up solving many problems big and small. At the end, the group of them always find the true meaning of each of their characters and able to learn from their journeys, as "a majority of Doraemon episodes are comedies with moral lessons regarding values such as integrity, perseverance, courage, family and respect for elders."

In all these new 3D graphics and computer generated animations, Doraemon's plot and art form might seem a bit outdated and naive, but what it brought to me in my childhood was imaginations and possibilities. Who, as a child, wouldn't want to have Doraemon as a friend? He will be always there to help you, when you are the most upset he will take out his little gadgets and give you some advantage in life.

As a grown up now, some days I still wish I can have that little help, just to make my day a little easier to bear. But like Doraemon would say "you can't always rely on little things to help you on the way, you have to do it on your own."

I guess I still have much to learn, Doraemon.

アンアンアン とってもだいすき ドラえもん。

This is happiness.

Sleep

365 days of happiness - #11/365 Sleep

(I started writing this post last night and fell asleep towards the end. For what the topic is about, it's actually quite funny.)

I have been reminded many times how lucky I am, to be able to sleep in almost any condition. I rarely could not fall asleep (trust me, when it does happen it usually is a very big one where I could not sleep at all, for the entire night). And I am able to sleep as much as I want when I choose to.

Back in the days, when I had less responsibilities, I could sleep easily for 16 hours. Partly due to lack of sleep overall (I love to sleep yet I do not like getting to bed... I know how ridiculous it sounds. Just think of it like someone enjoy running but couldn't drag him/herself to go out. Same thing in my case), but partly I just can.

Recently, with me dealing with problems, I haven't been able to have very good night sleeps. Still, I have no problem falling asleep (just waking up every half hour, sometimes from nightmares and fear.)

This is happiness.

(Sorry for all the brackets... apparently, I'm going through a phase that I like putting thoughts in brackets... bear with me...)